The Answer

 Inspired by Megan Mooney

For five months I knocked eagerly at your door. Flowers in hand, Charming smile on my face. You opened the door for a moment. Let me take a step towards coming in. You told me you loved me. Told me you wanted to lose your virginity to me. You told me that you would be devastated if you lost me to anyone else. Then you slammed the door in my face.

And it wasn't you who was devastated, it was me.

The old me wasn't good enough. He was naive and weak. He believed that love could conquer all and that she was the one. He got his heart broken. I killed him. Buried him in me and created a new me.


The new me is a player. He hides his broken heart behind confidence and bravado. He dresses sharply and attracts the women. He hunts for fun. He failed to find any. He got stood up.


Now I'm left standing here with two hurt persona's facing new doors to open. All solid wood, no idea what's behind them. Maybe I am scared just because I don't know what to do, but I can't help but think of the past.

I walk back to your door, glass instead of wood. I see you with Matt. Everything is perfect for you at first. You are happy, and I am glad for you. All I am is envious of your happiness. I want that with someone. But I look harder and saw doubt in your eyes. I saw tears in your eyes.

And that's was it. The seed of desire was planted in my mind, Quickly infesting every corner once again. Like a bad memory that just won't go away, The thought that maybe you and Matt are not right for one another crept in and never left. I resisted all I could but it was too late.

So here I am, standing at your door once again. I can't knock. I'd lose you for good as a friend or a lover. My better judgment whispers in my ear like the gentle breeze to walk away, but I can't, not with the seed of desire in me.

I feel pathetic. Hurt and Lonely, I stand at a crossroads. Looking at many wooden doors, scared to open another one and fall apart once again. Looking back through your glass door, wondering if there's any hope. All I can think to do is fog up the glass with my breath and write "I ♥ U" in all hopes that you will turn and look my way as I try to collect myself and walk towards a wooden door.

What I want more than anything though, is for someone to find me. For someone to open their door and see me there.

Maybe I can't find her because we keep missing one another. We keep moving from place to place searching...missing one another completely.

Maybe the answer is to stand still for a while